Part Five Chapter X

XGavin was wearing dark glasses against the glare of the morning sun, but that was no disguise Samantha Mollison was sure to recognize his car. When he caught sight of her, striding on the pavement alone with her hands in her pockets and her head down, Gavin made a sharp left turn, and rather of continuing along the road to bloody shames, crossed the old stone bridge, and parked up a lieu lane on the other side of the river.He did not want Samantha to get a line him parking exterior Marys house. It did not matter on work twenty-four hour periods, when he wore a suit and carried a briefcase it had not mattered beforehand he had admitted to himself what he felt ab by Mary, but it mattered correctly away. In any case, the morning was glorious and a walk bought him time.Still keeping my options open, he thought, as he crossed the bridge on foot. on that point was a small boy sitting by himself on a bench, eating sweets, below him. I dont have to say anything Ill play it by ea r But his palms were wet. The thought of Gaia telling the Fairbrother duplicate that he was in love with their mother had haunted him all through a restless night.Mary seemed pleased to see him.Wheres your car? she asked, peering over his shoulder.Parked it down by the river, he state. Lovely morning. I fancied a walk, and then it occurred to me that I could mow the lawn if you Oh, Graham did it for me, she said, but thats so sweet of you. recognise in and have a coffee.She chatted as she moved around the kitchen. She was wearing old cut-off jeans and a jersey they showed how thin she was, but her hair was shiny again, the way he usually thought of it. He could see the twin girls, lying out on the freshly mown lawn on a blanket, both with headphones in, auditory modality to their iPods.How are you? Mary asked, sitting down beside him.He could not think why she sounded so concern then he remembered that he had found time to tell her, yesterday, during his brief visit, that he an d Kay had split up.Im OK, he said. Probably for the best.She smiled and patted his arm.I take ind last night, he said, his mouth a little dry, that you might be pathetic.News travels fast in Pagford, she said. Its sound an idea. Theresa wants me to move back to Liverpool.And how do the kids feel about that?Well, Id deferment for the girls and Fergus to do their exams in June. Declans not so much of a problem. I mean, none of us wants to consecrate She melted into tears in front of him, but he was so talented that he reached out to touch her delicate wrist.Of course you dont Barrys grave.Ah, said Gavin, his happiness snuffed out like a candle.Mary wiped her cyclosis eyeball on the back of her hand. Gavin found her a little morbid. His family cremated their dead. Barrys burial had simply been the second he had ever attended, and he had hated everything about it. Gavin saw a grave purely as a marker for the place where a corpse was decomposing a nasty thought, yet multitude t ook it into their heads to visit and bugger off flowers, as though it might yet recover.She had got up to get tissues. Outside on the lawn, the twins had switched to communion a set of headphones, their heads bobbing up and down in time to the same song.So Miles got Barrys seat, she said. I could hear the celebrations all the way up here last night.Well, it was Howards yeah, thats right, said Gavin.And Pagfords nearly rid of the Fields, she said.Yeah, looks like it.And now Miles is on the council, itll be easier to close Bellchapel, she said.Gavin always had to remind himself what Bellchapel was he had no interest in these issues at all.Yeah, I suppose so.So everything Barry precious is finished, she said.Her tears had dried up, and the patches of high angry colour had returned to her cheeks. I dwell, he said. Its really sad.I dont know, she said, take over flushed and angry. Why should Pagford pick up the bills for the Fields? Barry but ever saw one side of it. He thought eve ryone in the Fields was like him. He thought Krystal Weedon was like him, but she wasnt. It never occurred to him that people in the Fields might be happy where they are.Yeah, said Gavin, overjoyed that she disagreed with Barry, and feeling as if the shadow of his grave had lifted from between them, I know what you mean. From all Ive heard about Krystal Weedon She got more of his time and his attention than his own daughters, said Mary. And she never until now gave a penny for his wreath. The girls told me. The whole rowing team chipped in, except Krystal. And she didnt come to his funeral, even, after all hed make for her.Yeah, well, that shows Im sorry, but I cant stop thinking about it all, she said frenetically. I cant stop thinking that hed still want me to worry about bloody Krystal Weedon. I cant get past it. All the last day of his life, and he had a headache and he didnt do anything about it, writing that bloody articleI know, said Gavin. I know. I think, he said, with a sense of putting his foot tentatively on an old rope bridge, its a bloke thing. Miles is the same. Samantha didnt want him to stand for the council, but he went ahead anyway. You know, whatever men really like a bit of power Barry wasnt in it for power, said Mary, and Gavin hastily retreated.No, no, Barry wasnt. He was in it for He couldnt help himself, she said. He thought everyone was like him, that if you gave them a hand theyd start bettering themselves.Yeah, said Gavin, but the point is, there are other people who could use a hand people at home Well, exactly said Mary, dissolving yet again into tears.Mary, said Gavin, leaving his chair, moving to her side (on the rope bridge now, with a sense of mingled panic and anticipation), look its really early I mean, its far too soon but youll meet someone else.At forty, sobbed Mary, with four children Plenty of men, he began, but that was no good he would rather she did not think she had too many options. The right man, he cor rected himself, wont care that youve got kids. Anyway, theyre such(prenominal) nice kids anyone would be glad to take them on.Oh, Gavin, youre so sweet, she said, dabbing her eyes again.He put his arm around her, and she did not shrug it off. They stood without speaking while she blew her nose, and then he felt her tense to move away, and he said, Mary What?Ive got to Mary, I think Im in love with you.He knew for a few seconds the glorious pride of the skydiver who pushes off firm floor into limitless space.Then she pulled away.Gavin. I Im sorry, he said, observing with alarm her repulsed expression. I wanted you to hear it from me. I told Kay thats why I wanted to split up, and I was scared youd hear it from someone else. I wouldnt have said anything for months. Years, he added, laborious to bring back her smile and the mood in which she found him sweet.But Mary was shaking her head, harness folded over her thin chest.Gavin, I never, ever Forget I said anything, he said fooli shly. Lets just forget it.I thought you understood, she said.He gathered that he should have known that she was encased in the invisible armour of grief, and that it ought to have protected her.I do understand, he lied. I wouldnt have told you, only Barry always said you fancied me, said Mary.I didnt, he said frantically.Gavin, I think youre such a nice man, she said breathlessly. But I dont I mean, even if No, he said loudly, exhausting to drown her out. I understand. Listen, Im going to go.Theres no need But he almost hated her now. He had heard what she was trying to say even if I werent grieving for my husband, I wouldnt want you.His visit had been so brief that when Mary, slightly shaky, poured away his coffee it was still hot.